Bredon Rugby - Match Reports

Match Reports

U12 home vs Lydney at

Sun 11-Feb-2018

Restoration of Pride

The Amazing Nemesis Boy

After a couple of weeks of proper job pastings, Bredon missed the chance to bounce back against Lydney. It was a familiar story to many of the long-suffering parents, who have shivered on the touchline & shared the pain of our offspring over the years.  Once again it was ‘Nemesis Boy’ who proved to be Bredon’s undoing. For those of you who have not experienced the utter despair of seeing your child & his team decimated on the sports field, I will explain.

 The Amazing Nemesis Boy, was created by Marvel Comics in the late 1950’s. He was the product of an unholy union between Curly from the Marx Brothers and Wonder Woman. So developed an amazingly athletic, tall, strong, fast, but eerily silent, curly haired phenomenon.

During the 1960’s the Amazing Nemesis Boy became highly adept at all manner of sporting activities. Scientists based in the deepest, darkest enclaves of the Forest of Dean, fuelled with recreational medication, Dutch Brownies & the occasional bowl of mushroom soup, took samples from The Amazing Nemesis Boy which have been used over successive generations to clone perfect replicas. Anyone who has seen the Terminator films will understand. I understand that after the success of the Black Panther, filming for the “The Amazing Nemesis Boy – The Movie” is due to commence sometime in the Autumn. Tom Hanks will play an ageing Nemesis Boy who is wracked with guilt due to the number of young hopeful athletic futures he extinguished during his rampaging past.

Thus it was, that the latest incarnation arrived at Westmancote on Sunday morning. He was tall, he was athletic, he had curly hair and we never heard him say a word. Standing a good foot taller than most of the rest of the remaining players, he ran in tries at will. When Bredon had the ball he hunted them down like a Great White shark. He ruthlessly snatched a bewildered Bredon body up off the ground, ripping the ball away, discarding the unfortunate child in a muddy heap, before cruising away in the familiar arcing run, and over the try line for another score.    

Saturday had been disappointing. I am considering getting a new job as a TMO. My eyesight is failing but apparently that isn’t one of the key skills required. Sunday morning had promised much more. The sun was shining in a cloudless blue sky. The game had been switched to Westmancote, meaning a short commute, ample car parking and our wonderful ladies’ baps. Boots the dog insisted on accompanying me, which would mean a chance to have an uninterrupted afternoon in front of the Scotland v France game.

Early indications were that it was several degrees colder than anticipated. A schoolboy error. Next was to under-estimate the quantity of foul smelling mud available for a dog to roll in. I did manage to seek refreshments within the warm shelter of pavilion in advance of kick off and hoped that Boots would rub most of the liquid effluent off on a car, building or some unsuspecting passer-by.

Partially successful (sorry to the nice lady walking her spaniel & anyone who owns the black Nissan Juke) we made our way to the touchline in time for the kick off. Bredon were missing several players leaving only 2 subs for the game.

It was not long before Nemesis Boy started to create carnage and players & spectators alike feared another thrashing. Despite a slow start to the game, Bredon gradually began to claw their way back. Josh, Jimmy & James all took the challenge to the visitors. Ewan began to control the play & the late introduction of Ben Abracadabra had an immediate impact.

The second half saw a much improved team performance from the home side. James crashing over for 2 tries, Harry striking a ball against the head & like his team-mates generally getting stuck into Lydney. There were courageous performances from Alfie & Jamie – who so nearly made the corner before being poleaxed by guess who.

The fight back came at a cost though with Theo, Jimmy & Morgan forced off the field with injuries. Morgan avoided the Nemesis Boy, only to be splattered by the undoubtedly the broadest & heaviest player on the field.

Nevertheless, Bredon fought back and may have been level up to the final play of the match. However, Nemesis Boy grabbed the loose ball with his prehensile fingers & cantered around the depleted defence to score and confirm Lydney’s victory.

The players and coaches will be disappointed to lose but heartened by a much improved second half performance. The boys all enjoyed more game time & this may have helped in a more cohesive performance.

Hopefully all the players will take encouragement from the second half performance and be up the next challenge and with any luck we won’t see The Amazing Nemesis Boy again until he arrives on Netflix.


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