U12 home vs Old Richians (Westie) at
Under 12's take the Biscuit
Bredon under 12’s found their mojo on a glorious late October Sunday morning at Westmancote. The extra hour in bed was certainly welcome at the end of a long half term week.
Most of the usual suspects were present on the touchline and the conversation ebbed and flowed between the dubious delights of Saturday night TV, half term high jinks, alcoholic excesses and the merits of thermal undergarments. At one stage I feared some of the latter garments may be exposed when numerous parents, encouraged by the sunshine, peeled off layer after layer.
Thoughts turned to the new team kit. Information has reached us that the specially crafted Yak-weave shirts have finally arrived in the UK but have failed to clear customs & may have to remain in quarantine while special scientific tests are carried out or Sergei can have a quiet word with his special contact in the Department of Trade & Industry. The Bulley family arrived en mass to support Jack and were quickly dispatched to fetch refreshments for we few of more advanced years. Long may this trend continue. I was disappointed that my car wasn’t washed when I returned to the car park after the game. Child labour is seriously under-rated.
The coaching team put the boys through the warm ups with this week’s mantra being to hold the ball in two hands – observing that a ball in two hands is better than a ball in the bush. I’m not exactly sure what this means but everyone looked very serious and nodded knowingly.
The game commenced with Steve treating his harem of onlooking female admirers by stripping down to a figure hugging t-shirt and short shorts. Was he once in Baywatch?
The boys began the game without their usual lethargy but there was little free flowing action as both sides adopted the cluster formation. Stalemate.
The initial exchanges were fiercely contested but Old Richteaians were soon staring down the barrel against a positive Bredon team. Although they never crumbled their defence was regularly broken and eventually they were well and truly slam dunked by the home side. I would try to include some more clichéd references but that would be taking the biscuit.
Bredon ran in tries from Benny B (2), Ben Abracadabra, Josh, Jack & Denby (finally carrying in 2 hands). For the first time in my failing memory Bredon won the collisions throughout the morning, gaining turnovers at rucks and mauls. Our defence was at times haphazard but also courageous. All the boys did themselves proud but a few caught the eye. Denby ran strongly from open field and Jack B enjoyed an outstanding all-round performance. Benny is being investigated by the gambling commission as it appears some financial shenanigans are suspected in respect of payment for scoring. Abracadabra junior has developed a fancy off load & relished the morning despite being disappointed that we weren’t playing Old Jaffacakians.
Alfie was a constant threat on the wing and did well to keep the ball alive on several occasions. Seb was another who shone, making a number of breaks including one memorable surge in the second half when he carried half the defenders with him.
So a happy and successful morning was enjoyed by all. Handshakes and hotdogs followed as the coaches purred about our success at the breakdown.
We all know we are on borrowed time. We will experience the misery of apocalyptic weather, ridiculous parking areas, shocking refereeing, low quality baps and heart-breaking defeats in the weeks & months ahead. But for now, we are warm, dry, victorious, unbroken and if you have any sense, enjoying a well-earned glass of something before reality kicks in.